Does anyone want to tell me what the fuck allah is??Is it just one of these new celebrity religions that seem to come from nowhere or is it actually a genuine religion?
Its getting really hard to decide whether a religion is actually a religion because they all seem to be surfacing now when really its just a celebrity making up one of their own so they can seem religious and still do whatever they want whenever they want.
Is it just me that sees this phenomenon arising and just generally is being paranoid or do others join me in witnessing this terror?
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*hammers head against wall*
Allah - from Arabic, al-ilah - "the god" - the name in Islam for God.
Actually, there's some massive list of names for God in the Koran, I think - before some smartarse pokes their head up and says, "Actually..."...
Allah forgive you...
Well, the misunderstanding about what Allah is aside, you have a good point, Dani... it's not that they're making up these religions (apart from Scientology, which was invented by an American man who wrote sci-fi stories and whose first name was Linda - no bullshit), it's that celebrities have to alllllways be so goddamn different from everyone else, and so can't just call themselves atheist/agnostic/whatever "but I feel a spirituality as I believe in the good in myself and in other people, and the peace it's possible to find in the world around me".
Oh no. That would just be too boring.
So, if a well-known religion doesn't have any hold on them, they must therefore get the little-known volume, Librus Spiritus Orientalis Obscura Celebritides Bullshittus (available from selected dealers to a select custom, prices are in the extravagant range, but discounts are available to those who have signed some part of their life away to compatriots of Simon Cowell, to Spielberg & co., or to Richard Branson - Branson doesn't actually make anyone famous, but DAMN that man's involved in everything profitable).
This book is like a Yellow Pages telephone directory containing a list of every religion ever created. The celebrity simply flicks ahead to the appropriate section - eg. "No higher power", "Heaven exists, but only for men and the nubile female virgins they will be rewarded with and encouraged to violate for all eternity", and "Aliens did it" - closes their eyes, and drops a pen on the page...
That is my theory.
I thank you.
"Bailey: bringing you better bullshit, daily!"
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